She was obviously impressed enough to scrawl "Fuck, you're good" beside it (again, we'll forgive the spelling and lack of punctuation as she was also probably trying to haul her drawers back on).

Just as I was about to walk away with a song in my heart, the awful truth dawned on me.

These weren't misspellings! They were the anarchic scratchings of black satanistic metal fans! After some investigation, I discovered that upside-down-cross-loving, frown-wearing guitar-botherers DEICIDE had been in town! For those not familiar with DEICIDE's oeuvre, let me start with a recent publicity shot:

L-R
Gog (drums/pots and pans/concrete mixer)
Mouse Destroyer (guitar/shouting/atmospheric yelps/vermin removal)
Andrew (Keyboards/Yearly audit)
Bessie (Bass/Security/Heavy lifting)

DEICIDE's most famous track is "Sunday Morning Reluctant Mass Apocalyptic Temper" which caused a flurry of controversy in Ireland due to the following verse:

"Mother ignores DO NOT ENTER sign,
pokes her head in and says 'Mass!'
Wait till she's gone
Before I say 'KISS MY ASS' (quietly)"

The song was eventually removed from Larry Gogan's playlist and dropped out of the Irish charts a week later; too late for the three hysterical callers who died on the Joe Duffy show.

So this was obviously the the work of cheeky Deicide chappies on their way back from a night of toe-tapping hi-jinks.

Stuart: "Hey Felix dude. Tell me again how much Deicide rocked!"
Felix: "Dude, they rocked so much I didn't even hear what you just said!"
Stuart: "Cool. Man, the best bit was when Mouse Destroyer bit the head off that chocolate Easter bunny and said "No easter bunny! No resurrection! No fuckin' smarties inside neither!" Man, religion sucks. Apart from that Last Passion flick. The gore in that was mega."
Felix: "You said it Stu."
Stuart [adopting conspiratorial pose]: "Hey Felix. I got me a marker in my pocket."
Felix: "No way dude. I'm not painting another cross on my forehead cause the last one gave me a rash."
Stuart: "No, idiot! How about we graffiti up something."
Felix: "Stu, our Moms will totally kill us if they find out."
Stuart: "Oh yeah? And do you see them around right now? We're in the middle of Dublin, man! Ain't no-one gonna stop us. You watch this and LEARN."
[Stu scribbles "DEICIDE"]
Felix: "Whoa. Nice."
Stuart: "Strap yourself in gramma, Stu's only gettin' started."
[Stu scribbles "Fuck your GOD"]
Felix [looking around nervously]: "C'mon Stu, let's go!"
Stuart: "What's your hurry dickwad! You afraid?"
[a Garda car stops suddenly beside them]
Garda Burke: "Well well. If it isn't the turd brothers. What are ye drawing there? Lemme see."
Felix: "Garda I had nothing to do with that graffiti, nothing I swear!"
Stuart: "Shut UP, Felix!"
Garda Burke: "Graffiti? Whah?"
Stuart: "Officer, what my colleague is trying to say is....we work for Dublin city council. Yes, we're late-evening parking-meter detectives. A parking meter stood on this very spot only a few hours ago. And now....nothing."
Garda Burke: "Go way. Gone you say?"
Stuart: "Indeed. Vanished without trace, Garda...."
Garda Burke [pushing back cap]: "Burke. DenJoe Burke."
Stuart: "Well DenJoe, part of our remit is to leave cryptic insignia at the spot in the hope that when the thieves return with the empty meter, any attempt to parse this code will result in a temporal mindfug which will allow one of our number to apprehend them."
Garda Burke [retreating to squadcar]: "I see. I see. Good night to you, gentlemen. And the best of luck!"
[drives off, beeping twice]
Stuart: "Turd brothers. Pffft!"