Curry Chips

The snackbox diaries now presents a rare insight into the workings of a modern advertising agency, based in central London.

[scene: a brainstorming session in the boardroom of Langley, McCann and Scrote]
Geoff: "Okay boys, it's time to push the envelope again. This week we're going to get creative with...[scans notes]...a gas-guzzling 4x4, some probiotic yoghurty bollocks and oh Christ, washing powder. Brett, take the jeep. Simon, take the yoghurty bollocks. That leaves you with the washing powder, Laurence."
Laurence: "Ah arse. My experience with washing powder is about as vast as my experience with fat chicks."
Simon: "You're the baddest Lar!" [high-fives Laurence]
Geoff: "Yeah yeah, settle down. Now go do that voodoo that you do! Be back here in an hour with the goods."

Willum: "And now it's over to 'Helena's Hot Rocks'; all the movin' and groovin' from the music world with Helena Hegarty. Over to you Helena."
Helena: "Thanks a millun, Willum. Oh but I have a bulging gusset of a programme this week featuring Enya, Westlife, Chico of "X Factor" fame and of course the long-awaited Take That reunion."
Willum: "That sounds faballass. Roll it there."
[VT plays; Helena stands outside the front door of an impressive residence in the west of Ireland]
Helena: "Well, here I am! After several hundred harassing phonecalls and a few parcels of greyhound shit through the letterbox, Enya has finally agreed to give me an interview."
[The door creaks open]
Helena: "Enya I'm delighted to- hang on, you're not Enya."

Having received a large number of enquiries regarding the impressive new statue which stands in front of Irish government buildings on Merrion square, the snackbox diaries would now like to provide some background.

The man giving government the finger is none other than Edward Hobbs: consumer champion, bringer of comeuppance and hemorrhoid in the flabby bottoms of indolent government ministers and proprietors of extortion emporiums.

In 2005, Irish people speak of life Before Eddie and After Eddie. Here is what life was like in the dark, dank years......Before Eddie.