A bizarre combination of mistaken identity and predictive text was last night blamed for the tempestuous war of words between warbling fruitcake Sinead O'Connor and Minister for Agriculture Mary Coughlan.
It appears that the Minister was in Luxembourg on official government business last Friday when she received the following text:
ha mary. i ducked ur hubby lst nite and swallowed his bun. luv sinead o'c
Ms Coughlan was understandably shocked that Sinead O'Connor appeared to be taunting her about illicit liaisons with her husband while she was abroad, and quickly replied:
HEY BALDY - SHUT UR HOB OR I WILL CREAK UR HEAD AND MAKE OMELET WIT IT
This led to a series of exchanges which rapidly grew in rancour:
From Sinead:
u look like bulk dog kicking pips off a mettle
From Mary:
UR REGGA ALBUM SUX. TINK U R PASTA OR SUMTING? WHERE R UR DREADS? HAHA
From Sinead:
fog breath, u r in da doodoo now, will send u cryin to ur ma
From Mary:
TELL BOLLOX HE WAS WORST POLL IN THE HAW I EVER HAD
From Sinead:
omfg ur dead
From Mary:
UR DEAD 2
The situation was resolved today on the Joe Duffy show, when Sinead apologised to the Minister and asked her to forward the relevant texts to the other Mary Coughlan. Ms O'Connor then tried to take the Minister to task about the "unspeakable atrocities going on up and down the country where thousands of heifers are forcibly impregnated by insensitive vets with cold hands" but was unable to finish due to her mobile phone powering down.
This is not the first time that texting has made the news in controversial circumstances; it was recently revealed that people were using SMS to send suicide notes which often fell foul of predictive text, e.g. "i am throwing myself in front of a cup" or "i am goin 2 eat a barrel of a gum".