Details are emerging of Charlie Sheen's new squeeze - he met her on www.millionairematch.com.
This is fantastic news for Martin and Janet, Charles' proud parents. They both claim to be thrilled that "Charlie is to go on a date with HOTPANTZ_4227".
MillionaireMatch is a wonderful website, and everyone is encouraged to visit.
On the "Free signup" page, you'll see the following:
If your annual income is below $150,000, to create free profile, search and email your dream match - Click here
If your annual income is over $150,000, to create free profile, search and email your dream match - Click here
The difference in the "Click here" buttons is that the poor grotty drongos who earn below 150 wonga go to a webpage with "type=1" in the address. Those who make more than 150 wonga get "type=2" in the address.
Let us all hope and pray that MillionaireMatch never experiences a database corruption which could somehow lead to a type 2 chugging on the barely-motivated tiddler of a type 1.
Type1: "Hoowee Milly-cent! God-dang, I'm goin' be pulling them bedsheets outta my ass for a week!"
Type2: [glorp]
Type1: "Y'all okay? Y'all shouldn't try to speak with y'all mouth full, hyuk hyuk."
Type2 [removing tiddler]: "Wait now. The emergence of your...rural accent is most unbecoming. You are Marvin Davis III, heir to the Marvin H.Davis oil fortune?"
Type1: "Huh? Naaaah! I'm Martin Davis the turd, head of poop-related pranks at Tau Kappa fraternity in Oklahoma city university!"
Type2: "I....I think I need some floss."