The accepted version of events is that Hitler, Braun and Blondi entered Hitler's private chambers on the night of April 30, 1945. Once inside, Hitler proceeded to smear his penis with a mixture of minced bratwurst, gravy and strychnine. Blondi was then allowed to feast on the toxic tackle, and was shot by Braun as soon as he delivered the lethal bite to his master. Hitler then shot his wife before bleeding to death in a most unsavoury manner.

Brown claims that this was indeed the plan, but it didn't quite work out that way.

"Hitler loved that dog more than he loved his wife. Everyone in the bunker knew it, and this was eating Eva up inside. She couldn't bear to see another bitch tucking into her rhubarb, so to speak, so she shot her husband in a jealous rage. Hitler, though fatally wounded, managed to respond in kind. Blondi's shock was enough to cause her to regurgitate her warm snack, thereby saving her life."

But what about Blondi's supposed escape to South America?

Brown points to the 1947 painting by Helmut Scheinhardt; "Der Mutts Unt Der Kartypopps".

"This painting has long been regarded as a kitsch masterpiece, but it is in fact one of the most important historical documents from the war."

"Sure, it looks like a bunch of mutts playing cards, but have you ever stopped to wonder why the German Shepherd on the left looks like she hasn't got a care in the world? Or why she isn't holding red playing cards?"

Brown enhances this part of the photo.

"It's because she's holding a ticket on the next yacht to Argentina! We can also see a wedding ring here, which disproves any notion that Blondi was a loose bitch."

"Further proof of her planned escape can be found in the picture behind the table."

Brown enhances the ensign on the main yacht.

"Look familiar?"

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