Tuesday was the sixth of June.
That may not mean diddly to your average potatohead, but if you write the date down...then you get 06062006.
Okay, that doesn't look particularly sinister, but if you remove all the zeroes...then you get 6626.
Look, fuckit, just forget about the 2! THEN you get...666.
This, according to the Book of Revelations, is Satan's number. It was designed to allow for easier dialling by the single-clawed beasts and ogres and whatnot.
So on with the divilment, as we give a nod to three reliable satanic fixtures in the world of art.
Representing the world of film, we have The Exorcist.
Fr Merrin: "Karras. Karras! It was deceit. Mockery!"
Fr Karras: "I tell you I am sure! I saw her! My own mother!"
Fr Merrin: "But how can you be so sure?"
Fr Karras: "Because she said 'When's-a you Dolmio day?'"
Fr Merrin: "Ah. The demon has many Dolmio days. I hope you did not tell her."
Fr Karras [pounding forehead]: "I DID. I DID. I told her...that it was Tuesday. I also told her that I now prefer the chunky vegetable one. I have failed us!" [wails]
Fr Merrin [sighing]: "Okay. Have some rest. I will take over."
Representing the world of music, or at least the world of hairy jug-bands, we have Morbid Angel.
This is MORBID ANGEL.
They're METAL. And SATANIC.
Their guitar player is TREY AZAGTHOTH.
He plays VIDEOGAMES.
His online Quake team are called the SAILOR SCOUTS.
That is NOT a GAY NAME.
IT IS NOT SO SHUT YOUR FACE.
SHUT UP OR I'M CALLING MOM!
MOM!
ahem
Trey took a STRICT VOW of dual-fingerism when he joined Morbid Angel in 1983.
Trey has since had to learn how to WASH, EAT and WIPE HIS HOLE using only these two fingers.
That's cause the middle two fingers are WUSSIES.
And finally representing the world of literature, we have H.P. Lovecraft.
Details are sparse on the life of H.P. Lovecraft.
However, we do know that the world of condiments and sauces would be a much poorer place without him.
He also famously discovered that a cigar tube filled with angry bees made quite the bedtime companion for the dowagers who could afford it at the time.
Comments (2)
LOL!
Posted by damien | June 12, 2006 9:24 AM
Posted on June 12, 2006 09:24
You are one funny boy. I laughed till I wet my incontinence pants.
Posted by Postman Pat | June 18, 2006 11:52 PM
Posted on June 18, 2006 23:52