THOUSANDS are feared dead following a catastrophic attempt by talent vacuum Katie Melua to break the world record for the deepest underwater concert performance.
Workers on the Statoil Troll oil rig claim they were not informed that Melua would be making such an attempt.
Speaking from his hospital bed in Trondheim, surviving drill leader Gonk Weinerson told us that "the monotonous paper-headed bint would never have been made welcome where proper music was enjoyed".
Surviving footage of the concert shows Melua thanking her cloth-eared audience for making the trip, while strumming the opening chords to her excruciating ditty "Nine million bicycles". Melua had just finished the first verse when an enormous vacuum of pure suck opened up, destroying everything in a three-mile radius.
Melua has extended her condolences to the families of those who died, and is due to be strapped to a rocket and shot into the sun in early 2007.
Comments (2)
This article spontaneously appeared under the World's Dullest Blog Entry category. "Quite frankly we're amazed", said a Guinness Book of Records spokesman today. "This category does't even exist. We've no idea how it got in there". Sources are unclear whether the GBR will recall all 3.5 million copies or simply find Nat King Coleslaw and shut him up forever. Meanwhile Coleslaw's imaginative album cover artwork has propelled Katie Melua to multi-platinum sales.
Posted by Knobbie | October 3, 2006 9:27 AM
Posted on October 3, 2006 09:27
Shurup Knobbie, ya knob. (See how I did that, Knobbie/knob, see, see!)
Where's your blog? lets see how interesting it is.
Posted by The Ewok | October 15, 2006 4:06 PM
Posted on October 15, 2006 16:06