For most Irish men, the realisation that the missus doesn't share your appreciation for a good rousing blast of Iron Maiden can be an alarming one.
Not to worry! Snackbox is here with some choice purchases to turn her frown around and get her gusset moistened into the bargain.
What better way to start than with a quartet who sound like a gaggle of lovestruck bullocks grunting over a ditch? Yes indeedy, "Dildo Oil" will have images of swarthy crooning lotharios swimming round her chardonnay-addled brain while you fumble with her brasier.
Originally a Lithuanian "Take That" tribute band, "Dildo Oil" were plucked from obscurity when Simon Cowell heard them as he trawled the seediest pubs in Vilnius one fateful night.
Several gallons of hair oil and a life-shortening amount of sunbed time later, Cowell's latest frankensigning was ready to be inflicted on the world.
Speaking of "Take That", what woman in her mid-to-late 30s would turn this one down? Like that turd that just won't flush away, the lads are back!
This time, they're doing it for the...fans.
If neither of these tickle her tonsils then you can't go wrong with this next one. This year's big wet dream for the music industry, James Morrison ticks all the boxes and then some.
For a start, he looks like what would happen if James Blunt cornholed Chris Martin and the lovely couple had a baby.
And he sounds like he's black - without all the complications of him actually being black. The music industry loves this shit (see also Mariah Carey, Eminem, Michael Jackson).
The album title gives you a good idea of what to expect. Singer/songwriter luvvy-duvvy affirmation/self-doubt/relationship woes/inability to find shampoo down the spar etc.etc.etc.
More:
Il Divo
Take That
James Morrison
Comments (2)
Smashing! I saw this lads video last night. I'm going to take my class to the factory where they make these chaps for the annual school outing. Then I'm going to eat the factory. Great material.
Posted by Auntie Brian | December 20, 2006 10:08 AM
Posted on December 20, 2006 10:08
A bunch of Ukranian salt miners cornholing Santaslaw, that would put a smile on my face. Who needs dildo oil when you've got a bunch of polonium-adled ex-KGB heavies with butt plugs the size of Desperate Dan's head. Poor ole Nat.
Posted by Knobbie | December 20, 2006 4:07 PM
Posted on December 20, 2006 16:07