Having debunked the myth of the elitist snot-nosed Gaeilgeoir in "No Béarla" by wandering around Ireland making normal people look foolish, the erudite and fabulous Manchán Magan now tries his hand with the French.
"No Fraincís" sees Manchán trying to make his way around Normandy, relying solely on his wits and his Gaeilge.
Hilarity is bound to ensue! Let's join Manchán as he contemplates the port town of Cherbourg.
Manchán: "Yo! Is mise Manchán. No, níl aon gá le sloinne. Is leor Manchán daoibhse. Ar aon nós, táim anseo sa Fhrainc chun mo slí a dhéanamh timpeall na tíre le mo teanga agus mo clisteacht. Ar aghaidh linn!"
Manchán decides to kick things off by asking a local where he can buy illegal drugs! What a jape!
Manchán: "Dia dhuit. An bhféadfá cuidiú a thabhairt dom?"
Local: "Muh? Qu'est ce que c'est?"
Manchán: "Teastaíonn drugaí mídhleathacha uaim. Y'know?"
Local: "Yinnow?"
Manchán: [making exaggerated sniffing noises] "Drugaí!"
Local: "Druggy! Va te faire!"
[the man storms off in a huff, leaving Manchán tittering wildly]
Manchán: "Oh lads, if only he knew what I was asking him for! What was he saying anyway?"
Manchán decides to have some fun with a shopkeeper!
Manchán: "Conas taoi! Éist anois. An bhfuil aon ábhair phléascacha agat?"
Shopkeeper: "A gut? Vous etes Allemand? Desolé monsieur, je n'parle pas l'allemand."
Manchán: "Ná bach leis sin! Ba mhaith liom foirgneamh mór a leagadh chun an talamh! Ar son bunadh bocht briste ó Baile Mhuirne!"
Shopkeeper: "Eh...un moment..."
[the beleagured assistant walks away, leaving Manchán tittering again]
Manchán: "Oh my sides! If only he knew I was asking for explosives to blow up a building for the downtrodden folk in Ballyvourney!"
Manchán decides to give his outrageous busking another go, using only his trusty bongo as accompaniment!
Manchán: "...thóg mé mo ispín amach, ooh sea, mo ispín mór súmhar..."
[bink bonk]
Manchán: "...bhain an madra greim air, an madra gáirsiúil, an madra sárálainn..."
[binkety bonk]
However, as Manchán titillates himself with lurid tales of canine canoodlings, he remains quite unaware of the fact that busking is strictly prohibited in Cherbourg...
Gendarme: "Là-bas. Musicien ambulant. Quelle fracas!"
[Manchán's rigid adherence to his mode of communication only makes the situation worse]
Gendarme #1: "Bonjour. Vous savez que c'est strictement interdit de chanter dans la rue?"
Manchán: "Hoho, na Garda Sicíní! Nach breá na cultacha donna oraibh!"
[the Gendarmes consult]
Gendarme #2: "Il est fou?"
[Manchán resumes his busking]
Manchán: "...oooooh Lassie, is mór an cathú é do eireaball fionn..."
Manchán: "...oh, síos Lassie! Beidh mo chairde ag cúlchaint, cú dána! Cú madrúil! Ooooh..."
Manchán: "Bhfuel! Is ríléir go bhfuil rialtas na Fraince ag iarraidh an laoch Gaelach seo a chur faoi chois! Ach ní bheidh an lámh in uachtar acu! Ní-"
Gendarme: "Lumières éteintes!"
[Manchán's cell is plunged into darkness]
Manchán: "Íosa Chríost. Lads! Are we still rolling? Shut the fuckin' camera off and call my mother. Please lads. I think I've done an uimhir a dó in my bríste."
More: Home of the GLOBAL NOMAD
Comments (13)
outstanding
Posted by rusty | January 23, 2007 4:56 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 04:56
So are we to take it that yer anglin for the best use of Irish in a blog award aswell then??
Posted by podge | January 23, 2007 5:14 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 05:14
Yer darn tootin', podge. I want best use of Irish, English, French, bihha German and best use of sweary language too.
Snackbosca abú!
Posted by Nat King Coleslaw | January 23, 2007 9:41 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 09:41
Ah best use of Sweary language, I think you may have a real fight on yer hands there with BirdBath
Posted by Podge | January 23, 2007 10:00 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 10:00
Bravo sir, well done. Though an animated gif of his head exploding would have worked as well...
Posted by insomniac | January 23, 2007 10:13 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 10:13
Good stuff out of you....Manchán is whats wrong with Irish today.
Instead of encouraging people who might have Irish but might be a bit self-conscious about using it, Manchán insists on bombarding everyone he meets with his own brand of “Uber” Irish and bamboozles them in the process. Even people who clearly have Irish have problems understanding the Muppead. I am of the opinion that an Eejit is an Eejit no matter what language he is speaking.
Posted by The Slippery Orange Ballcock | January 23, 2007 10:38 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 10:38
Oh....ammm...just one thing.....Its Baile Bhúirne not Baile Mhuirne you Degenerate gimp. :)
Posted by The Slippery Orange Ballcock | January 23, 2007 10:54 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 10:54
yeah I thought that meself the other one is Murintown in wexford init
Posted by Podge | January 23, 2007 11:57 AM
Posted on January 23, 2007 11:57
I might be a nitpicker, but there is no fada in "Fraincis".
Posted by Panu | January 29, 2007 2:31 AM
Posted on January 29, 2007 02:31
Rubbish
Posted by Knobbie | February 2, 2007 2:54 PM
Posted on February 2, 2007 14:54
Call me a nickpicker, but this is utter crap.
Posted by Knobbie | February 2, 2007 3:00 PM
Posted on February 2, 2007 15:00
Bhi se sin thar chinn ar fad.
Bhi se sort cosuil le Hector Amú.
Posted by Tomás | February 5, 2007 4:28 PM
Posted on February 5, 2007 16:28
Is it just me or is Knobbie mellowing a bit in his old age?
Posted by Lorenzo | February 13, 2007 10:43 PM
Posted on February 13, 2007 22:43