Mikey: "Now. The pile of horseapples currently on-screen is how you originally wanted to market my Orchard Downs development beyond the Poitin Stil."




Mikey: "'A potpourri of irrefrangible uber-reality', you called it. 'A load of bollocks that would frighten the shit out of my punters' is what I called it. So off you went and came back with this:"




Mikey: "'A tableau of idyllic resplendence', you called it. I still called it a load of bollocks, but it was the right kind of bollocks cause all the flats got sold."
John: "Precisely Mr Drumm! We found that a perception of a greatly enhanced quality of residential splendour was a salient factor in the purchasing decision-"
Mikey: "Enhanced fuckin' time on the Naas road more like. Anyway, that was then - different ballgame now boys, interest rates have gone up and the market's slowing down. Show me how you're gonna flog these."
John: "We'd be delighted to, Mr Drumm! Bren?"

Brendan [sweating]: "Well Mr Drumm, for your development at Belmayne, we blueskied a number of antonymous approaches before harmonising on what I'm sure you'll agree is a completely different flightpath. Our steering group decided to allocate a significantly higher weighting to factors such as the proximity to other amenities of a similar projected prestige, while radically altering the pitch and overall thrust of-"
Mikey: "Show me some fuckin' pictures."
Brendan: "Certainly."



Mikey: "Holy-"



Brendan: "It's gorgeous living. It's decadence. It's opulence. It's-"



Mikey: "It's smut. Fuckin' smut!"

[Brendan looks at John uncertainly]

John: "Ah...while these shots certainly look polished Mr Drumm, they are but the initial versions of the-"
Mikey: "Shut your hole. I love it! Mighty stuff. The market's gone to pot so you tart up my apartments with promises of threesomes and hot lesbo action. You boys are cannier than I gave you credit for."
John: "Thank you Mr Drumm."
Mikey: "That'll be all. Get in touch with the boys in finance about the cost. You can leave the pictures here."
John: "Thank you Mr Drumm."

[John and Brendan gather their accoutrements and make a sharp exit]

Gorgeous living comes to Dublin