Curry Chips

My name is Pat Rabbitte and today is the longest day of my life...

Sony BMG say they now "regret" offering fans the chance to name Lavigne's new album.

"What we saw here was a concerted effort by parents and older relations of Avil Lavigne fans to express what they really really feel about her infuriating brand of bratpop", said an unnamed spokesperson.

An initial pressing of 1000 featuring the controversial title has been withdrawn and is now said to be a valuable commodity on internet auction sites.

The insolent Canadian whelp was unavailable for comment.

With much thanks to Beaker

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The blame game. Everyone plays it. Some, such as Rabbitte and Kenny, play nothing else at all. Except, let's face it, they're pretty shit at it. But there is one man who plays it better than anyone, and that man was unveiled today at the launch of Labour's Manifesto. Ladies & Gentlemen, let's hear it for Labour's secret weapon, Mr José Mourinho...

Feel free to add your own quotes.

Ladies and Gentlemen, no longer can we see our favourite son out in hand me downs with no buttons. Join me. As Bob Geldof once told us; "Just give us the fucking buttons." Colin needs them and he needs them NOW.

Thanks to Blogorrah for the original image of the buttonless wonder.

Is your party leader's ginger hair causing you embarrassment?

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Currychips is delighted to announce the launch of a new campaign to shoot irksome ubiquitous ginger Gaeilgeoir Hector O'Heochagain into the sun.

For far too long has this pesky hoor been allowed to blight our airwaves with incessant plugs for hooch and horse-racing, not to mention his ghastly "Hanging with Hector" series where he mimsies around sucking farts from the arsehole of one "likely lad" celeb after another.

The time is nigh, brothers and sisters.

We'll be relying on our faithful readership to supply the wonga so we can purchase a rocket with sufficient oomph to send the irritating fucker to a richly-deserved crispy demise.

At the moment, we hope to organise the launch from a field in Co.Meath at some point in 2008.

Painstaking research has allowed us to construct the following table which should give some idea of the funding required, as well as the projected destination of the rockets.

We here at Currychips are only too aware of the significance of June 7 this year - it's when Leaving Cert students take on Irish, paper 1. The poor doomed bastards.

In light of this, we have decided to present a helpful guide to the Irish classic "Peig" and what better way than from the horse's mouth (no offence, love). Over to you, you mad old cow...

"Hello, welcome, pull up a seat there beside the range and listen to one woman as she paints you a picture of her hard life. Oh far be it from me to call it hard, but you could say that twas filled with loneliness, despair, freezing muck, driving rain, punctured wellies, lost sheep, stale potatoes and the odd bit of death and deprivation.

Dublin commuters! Does this look familiar?





Then you'll be needing this....

Last time I was in Kerry, I was driven to distraction by this woman's posters.

The hair. The glint in the eye. The hair.

What was she trying to achieve?

Aye, that's the sound of the wind shaking the barley which I only got round to watching last night.

Lack of concern for any of the characters aside, twas a fine film.

Oh them black'n'tans were a rascally lot. And the accents on them!


Tan [offscreen]: "WOTCHOO DOIN I SAY WOTCHOO DOIN' PADDY!!?"
Foxy Tim: "Milkin' the cow"
Tan: "LOOKS LAWK YORE INTERFERIN' WI' THAT 'ORSE!"
Foxy Tim: "That's a cow like"
Tan: "MAH GAWD! THIS 'ORSE HAS FOUR WOTSITS! AN' PADDY 'ERE IS TUGGIN' TWO AT A TIME!!"
Foxy Tim: "Them's paps"
Tan: "SUMMARY AH....EXECUTION FOR PERVERSITY AND BESTIAL CONDUCT WITH ONE OF THE QUEEN'S ANIMALS."
[BANG!]
Foxy Tim: "You shot the cow, boy."

Weblog entry dated May 24th, 2007

Well, could be 2006, I don't notice any more.

Hey y'all, don't know if anyone's still reading this but Hi! if you are.

Eight weeks now since It happened and even though I try to stay positive, It is still the Dark Planet around which my Satellite of Hate orbits.

So it ain't original and it's unlikely to actually produce a LOL. But we're doing it anyway.


(UFIA for the unenlightened)

To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the original Star Wars, Curry Chips is proud to present updated snippets from the most recent fillum; "Revenge of the Sith"...

[Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, on a mission to free Chancellor Palpatine, have made their way to the deck of General Grievous' spaceship where they confront the big robotic galoot]



Grievous: "Ho ho ho! Stupid jedis. I lurrnt thee lightsaberr tricks from Count Dooky!"

Ist been too long sinceder last katalog for der discernische purchasinkz bongoheddzenz!

On mit der schow!