Currychips is delighted to announce the launch of a new campaign to shoot irksome ubiquitous ginger Gaeilgeoir Hector O'Heochagain into the sun.
For far too long has this pesky hoor been allowed to blight our airwaves with incessant plugs for hooch and horse-racing, not to mention his ghastly "Hanging with Hector" series where he mimsies around sucking farts from the arsehole of one "likely lad" celeb after another.
The time is nigh, brothers and sisters.
We'll be relying on our faithful readership to supply the wonga so we can purchase a rocket with sufficient oomph to send the irritating fucker to a richly-deserved crispy demise.
At the moment, we hope to organise the launch from a field in Co.Meath at some point in 2008.
Painstaking research has allowed us to construct the following table which should give some idea of the funding required, as well as the projected destination of the rockets.
Put it this way:
Anything less than 50k will land the little bollocks in the next field.
Which means he'll be able to get to the road.
Which means he'll be able to get to Dublin.
Which means he'll be able to make another fuckin' horse-racing ad. Or worse.
Let's not even contemplate this appalling vista. A cool 100k will land him in the next county which, while it might deliver a few broken limbs, could result in him making a "hilarious" new documentary "In hospital with Hector" where he "blagards the nurses" and "rouses the other patients into cheering for the Munster rugby team".
We need to do it right. 150k will see him shot into the Irish sea, but that still leaves the outside chance of him landing in a trawler (and sailing back to Dublin etc.)
Let's not stop until we hit the 500k mark. It'll be a great day out for the family to watch Hector getting strapped in. We can even have "THEYOZZ A FEW FINE FILLIES IN HEEYOH" being played over the PA so folk give a rousing huzzah as the rocket finally blasts off.
Comments (4)
I'd love to see him gone too! "Let yourself goooooooooooo!!!!!" Oh, I'll let myself go Hectòr alright, in the form of my rage which will conclude in the mish-mashing of yer filthy leathery-skinned face!!
Unfortunately all I have in my wallet till payday is €4.13.........and I can't wait that long to see him gone (I've been waiting since he presented that kid's show the very 1st day TV3 aired, good grief!)
Posted by Duggy | May 15, 2007 3:45 PM
Posted on May 15, 2007 15:45
Hector - definition of a one-trick pony
Posted by covert | May 15, 2007 8:12 PM
Posted on May 15, 2007 20:12
I was really disapointed that he never did 'Hanging With Sadamn'...
Posted by National Disgrace | May 16, 2007 10:48 AM
Posted on May 16, 2007 10:48
Have we tried Gingit Bang?
Posted by Green Ink | May 17, 2007 1:14 PM
Posted on May 17, 2007 13:14