Curry chips is proud to present a blog exclusive! Yes indeedy, a rare interview with the reclusive Dolores O'Riordan, no less.
Nat King Coleslaw caught up with her as she tried, like other celebrities, to outrun him. He then persuaded her to sit down for a chat.
NKC: "So Dolores, thanks for taking the time to talk to Curry Chips and buy me lunch. Could I start by asking you about the inspiration for your new album 'Are you listening?'"
Dolores: "Sure. It was named after a particularly stressful exchange with my ten-year-old son. He came home from school asking if he could just be called Taylor from now on - instead of Taylor Baxter, like. So I said to him 'And what would your sister Dakota Rain make of that?' Sure he didn't care. Said the lads were calling him Baxter Soup and Oxtail Bottom."
NKC [sigh]: "Kids. They can be so cruel."
Dolores: "Yeah. So I said if you change it to Taylor then they'll just call you Tinker Taylor Soldier Sailor and you wouldn't like that. He said some very upsetting things to me then and I hit back with a few. After he slammed the door, I added 'Are you listening?' and I just stopped and thought 'That's it, that's my next album title right there'. And when the creativity hits you like that, you have to sit down and let it flow through you. So I grabbed a pencil and I wrote 'Loser' there and then".
NKC: "Ah yes, 'Loser'. Some say it's your finest lyrical work since 'I just shot John Lennon' - would you agree?"
Dolores: "Ah, listen, you can't go comparing art with art like that. Good art rises above such piffling trivialities."
NKC: "Well, I think it is. I think they're both brilliant but I think 'Loser' just edges it. I mean '...John Lennon' bursts through your cranium with this:
It was the fearful night of December 8th
He was returning home from the studio late
He had perceptively known that it wouldn't be nice
Because in 1980, he paid the price
but 'Loser' has
Guess who just fell over your toys?
Your da, just in from the boozer
You know what's coming, it's no surprise
He'll burst your mush, you loser
which just leaves me breathless and shaking my head at the results."
Dolores: "Yeah, fair enough."
NKC: "And if I can continue with another example from the new album...on this track, you cast a cold eye on a situation which obviously troubles you greatly. The Iraq war."
Dolores: "Yeah, that really pisses me off. What a disaster. It's all about the oil, you know. There never were any weapons of mass destruction. All a distraction."
[Dolores pauses]
Dolores: "There you go. My muse knows not the hour. Destruction...Distraction. Two sides of the same deadly coin. I must write that down. Gimme your pen there."
[Dolores scribbles on her hand]
NKC: "Anyway, as I was saying, you address this terrible inhumanity in 'Angel Fire'."
Dolores: "Yeah. On this track I use what might be considered absurd juxtaposition to highlight to futility of the conflict, and how it seems like it's happening on another planet to some people.
My mother rings the doorbell, she's got brandy and barm brackNKC: "Profound. So you're living in Canada at the moment - did you get fed up with south Kerry?"
Not thinking for a moment about the suffering in Iraq
So while we sit in paradise and we nibble on a biscuit
My mind won't stop going back to today's carbomb in Tikrit
Dolores: "I did."
NKC: "Did you ever hear the local tribute band 'The Dingleberries'? They're meant to be quite good."
Dolores: "I can't say that I have, no."
NKC: "Their debut album 'Men in the rigging' is actually due out soon. Any truth in the rumour that you're negotiating a multi-zillion pound deal to rebrand one of your biggest hits for a luxury clothing company?"
Dolores: "What? Where'd you hear that now?"
NKC: "Ahem, bear with me now because I want to do this justice."
[NKC sings]
"What's on your heeeee-ead
On your heeee-eee-eeeead
Abercromb-eh
Abercromb-eh
Abercromb-eh
e-eh
e-eh
e-eh
o-oh
o-oh
doo-doo-"
Dolores: "STOP! Fuckin' loser."
[Dolores gets up and walks out; NKC continues to sing]
NKC: "With their tanktops
on your buns
and their tanktops
on your buns
for your heh-hed
for your heh-hed
you are buy-ing."
[NKC ceases his ululations]
NKC: "There she goes. What an artiste."
[This interview really took place. Swearond'bible]
Comments (14)
Fantastic, but now i have the image of someone wearing a tanktop on their buns!
Posted by Frannie | June 6, 2007 8:25 AM
Posted on June 6, 2007 08:25
Another piece of inspired lunacy.
Posted by Elimare | June 6, 2007 9:26 AM
Posted on June 6, 2007 09:26
My enjoyment was somewhat marred by the use of the word "dingleberry". Other than that, a hearty thumbs-up.
Posted by The Swearing Lady | June 6, 2007 10:17 AM
Posted on June 6, 2007 10:17
what were you doing interviewing that new damien hirst skull thing anyway?
Posted by hippo | June 6, 2007 12:08 PM
Posted on June 6, 2007 12:08
Heh. I'd actually prefer to hear the Dingleberries album than anything by this one. They sound like they'd at least put some soul into things (and if not soul, then hole)...
Posted by Kyle | June 7, 2007 5:40 PM
Posted on June 7, 2007 17:40
I once met Dolores outside Biarritz. Putting on an insanely offensive French accent I told her she "wuz ma favoreeet Corr." She told me to fuck off. Da bitch.
Posted by John Cav | June 11, 2007 4:12 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 16:12
Fantastic. Impossible to ignore. Impossible.
Posted by drea | June 15, 2007 2:55 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 14:55
I've met Dolores and she IS very nice.
Posted by holly | December 2, 2007 6:08 PM
Posted on December 2, 2007 18:08
I met Dolores too, and she's really sweet.
Posted by Anonymous | December 30, 2007 2:18 AM
Posted on December 30, 2007 02:18
This is supposed to be funny or creative? I want my time back!
Posted by Anonymous | December 30, 2007 2:56 AM
Posted on December 30, 2007 02:56
"emit ym"
There you go.
Posted by Nat King Coleslaw | December 31, 2007 10:46 AM
Posted on December 31, 2007 10:46
Dol is a lovely lady and the best mother in the world. You are a sad man and sick and jealous because you're not famous and beautiful like her.
Posted by europhile | December 31, 2007 10:52 AM
Posted on December 31, 2007 10:52
Yeah Mr. Coleslaw.
I met Dol too and she was really nice. She is sooo troubled by this whole Katie French thing that I find it hard to imagine how you could drag all this up during this horrific time for Dol.
You bastard. May the curse of Molly Malone and her seven snotty orphans send you so far beyond the seventh hill of damnation that the Lord himself won't be able to see you with a telescope.
Posted by Ewok | January 1, 2008 9:17 PM
Posted on January 1, 2008 21:17
Your lack of respect for the cultural giants of this country is shocking.
Posted by Green Ink | January 3, 2008 3:52 PM
Posted on January 3, 2008 15:52