Get yer gums round some exclusive out-takes!




Richard: "We've buttered up the dover sole, so now we're going to pour a buttery cucumber sauce over it and accompany it with good buttery spuds. Now! I'm sure your guests will butter it when you have them round for a butter party."
Director: "HAULD IT. Richard, you're doing it again."
Richard: "But....er..."
Director: "No! No, stop!"
Richard: "Good Lard, I'm sorry."
Director: "STOP! Snap out of it!"




Richard: "Now. Before we slap this hairy shank of Rathkeale ham into the cast-iron bath, let's see how our Irish chicken fillets are doing."
[yanks tray out of oven]
Richard: "Fabalass. They're golden brown. Now we douse them in some petrol like so....bom-pom-pommmmm.....and put them on the window ledge.....like that...you'll need to stand back a bit before flicking the match."
[POOOF]
Richard: "YEAH! Now as the hideous things burn and the foul stench of burning additives, angel dust and rooster hormones fills the air, you can take time out to say a small prayer to Azaka Medeh, Haitian Goddess of the Harvest."
Director: "STALL THE BALL. Richard, come on. I thought we agreed that poultry sacrifice was out."
Richard: "I agreed that live poultry sacrifice was out."


The programme mainly centres on Richard as he butter-bastes his broils and bakes, but it also dares to be topical!


David Keogh gets out there and shows modern Irish busy bees how to easy it is to whip up some splendid tuck in jig time.




He recently visited busy parents Brenny and Jenny. Jenny has two kids. She has a job. She has no time to cook up egg and chips for Brenny. What, are you joking me? Here's the takeaway menu for the nearest Shalimar, you bloated lump.

Brenny ain't happy with this, no sor. Foreign gassy muck. You know where you stand with egg and chips. He had a jalfrezi last week and blew off for two days.

David shows them how easy it is to make a quick fish dish. Grab that bit of monkfish from the bottom of the cupboard. Throw it on a hot buttery pan for just a few minutes either side. Pour over some freshly-prepared escabeche sauce and serve with duchess potatoes and gratin dauphinoise. Stupidly easy.


Finnish psychopath Dr Eva Orsmond visits Irish celebrities to make sure they subsist on the most joyless fare known to man. Eva's got ballsh and she ain't afraid to shwing dem okay?

She's already smacked it to braying headbanger Nell McCafferty.



Dr Eva [poking in Nell's fridge]: "OH NELL. I AM LOOKINK IN DE FRIDSH! DE FOOL FAT MILKKEN!"
Nell: "Eh aye molk blah drone"
Dr Eva [contemplating a selection Nell's favourite food]: "OH NELL. BUDDAH. SALAMI. HARD FAT. AVOIDEN DESE."
Nell: "Och buttor slommy mah faverotts nae wae"
Dr Eva [tutting]: "OH NELL YOU AH MY TUFFEST PATIENT HO HO HO. LOOK AD YOU SMILE. THAD IS ALL DE LIPIDS AND NONSADURATED FATS GANGING UP ON YOU CHEEKS TO PULL YOU FACE UP LIKE DAT. I DON'T LIKE TO SEE DE SMILE, NO SUR."


She's also smacked it to madcap egghead Brendan O'Carroll.



Dr Eva: "OH BRENDAN. YOU HAFF DE CUBBAD FULLA SWEEDS AND SNAGGS. BRENDAN BRENDAN." [waving dramatic finger]
Brendan: "Naaa-ah-ah-ah! Snack on yer crack wha?"
Dr Eva: "AND YOU BOIL THE VESHTABLES LIKE DE KARROTS AND DE PODADOS? YOU DO NOT EAT DEM RAW?"
Brendan: "In the raw! Pull me carrot love."




Aingeala Flannery delivers the hard-hitting exposes.

Aingeala: "Tap water! Sure it tastes like arse, but would you have thought that it's as good for you as bottled water?
Bottled water that costs a whopping €40 a glass in posh Parisian water bars?
Bottled water that a shocking SIX out of ten tasters described as tasting 'inferior' to tap water?
Bottled water that-hang on, does anyone really give a fuck? Like, really now?"
Director: "I shoulda stayed in college."

Aingeala got to conduct a pepsi taste test in Dublin city centre. With water instead of pepsi.

Aingeala: "You're saying you prefer sample B? Would you believe me if I told you that's Galway water? Ha ha ha! You're in for two weeks of rusty water and technicolour yawning. Ah get knotted butterball, you could do with losing some weight anyway".


Catch Corrigan knows food. If you know what's good for you.