Curry Chips

Yes, SHERGARA came under the spotlight in a recent "Liveline" programme. For those lucky souls who remain blissfully unaware of Liveline's existence, it's a lunchtime phone-in show on RTE radio one which tends to attract callers from the following groups:

• Those who live too close to pylons
• Those who were dropped when they were young, picked up and dropped again
• Those who wish to share the fruits of their senseofhumourectomy with the rest of the country

Joe Duffy is the master of ceremonies, and obviously gets a bizarre kick out of fielding calls from these lunatics. Anyway! On with the show.....

Yeehaw! More hi-jinks on Liveline after the Irish minister for defence appeared on the front of the Irish Times pointing a gun at the cameraman. Some folk would say that posing for such a photo in light of the recent spate of gangland killings is unwise; however, they're not the headbangers who ring Joe Duffy!

Here's a small sample of today's callers:

Ah, Valentine's day. That special time of year when love is in the air.

Unless you're from Offaly, as we can see from another sauce-filled "Liveline" transcript....

Joe: "...so in case you're just joining us, I have Cyril Fox on the line to defend his dating agency. Cyril, can I get the name of your business again?"
Cyril: "Sure Joe. It's 'See Hollywood in Tullamore'."
Joe: "Not one for abbreviation then."
Cyril: "Hah? You can add 'Enterprises' to the end if you like."
Joe: "That....doesn't help. Anyway, we have Brendan on line 1, hello Brendan."
Brendan: "Howya Joe. I'm glad you've given me the chance to set the record straight about this scheister. I signed up with himself, handed over me few bob and he was fierce enthusiastic straight away. Said he had this girl on the books who was like a model and that he'd fix the two of us up fairly pronto. So I pulled on me best suit, old spice behind the ears, hair oil, the works. Only to turn up at her house and find she had only the one leg."

Snackbox diaries would now like to take time out from stocking up on assorted LIDL/ALDI low-cal shakes and gym equipment to congratulate Ana Leddy on finishing her first year as the head of RTE Radio 1.

You see, Ana knows that the best medicine for a sickly child is a good hearty shoe in the hole. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! And Radio 1 needed a shoe in the hole to get back into serious competition with Today FM, Newstalk 106 and the plethora of regional stations with their fantastic court reports and greyhound pup ads.

So in came the Leddy shoe! Unfortunately, it had Derek Mooney and Mary Wilson stuck to it. And it hit the respective rumps of John Creedon, Myles Dungan, John Kelly and Rachel English.

Out went Dungan and Kelly with their arty-farty broadcasts. Out went Creedon with his "eclectic" music taste and "five-minute philosophy" segments.